My Spouse Is Cheating - What Do I Do Now?

I can imagine how you feel and it must be awful to feel like your carpet has been moved and you do not know where you are standing right now. You trusted your spouse and he/she let you down You are probably now feeling like firing your spouse, and you want nothing to do with relationships. But before you take any drastic decision like divorcing YourLatinMates.com review your spouse I suggest you take some time to think what you are going to do.

 

I can hear you saying "Isn't it obvious what I will do? There is only one solution?"

 

Well the fact of the matter is that we are human beings and we are not perfect. We do mistakes and that is the only way of learning. We do not learn anything if we do everything right. You may have experienced this many times, when your mother or a friend told you "Do not do that, it will not work". But you decided you needed to try it out and see for yourself  that it would not work. Unfortunately most of the time we only learn things through experiences, and that is perfectly fine. TripTogether That is why we are here.

 

I want you to reassure you that everything happens for a reason. At the moment you may think that there is no reason for you to experience this, when you gave your best to your spouse and he/she betrayed you. I understand but there are a couple of points I want to bring up on this:

 

1. Whatever you do, do not take a decision in a hurry. Divorce is one of the most traumatic events one person can go through, and it will affect more than just yourself and your spouse. Some countries have a law where a divorce can only take place after 12 months of being separated from your spouse. I consider this a good idea, since so many things can happen in 12 months. You or your spouse can change your mind, AnastasiaDate.com review you can grow to understand what went wrong, your spouse can really repent and realise  he was wrong. It will also give you time to evaluate if you want to continue in this relationship or not. Many times we think the grass is greener on the other side, but sometimes also a change of attitude will make you see things in a different light. So whatever you do take your time before deciding on final issues.

 

2. An affair strengthens a marriage relationship. You may think that it actually breaks a marriage, but not. This is the time for you to take responsibility for your relationship. Stop and think about the reasons why your spouse may have cheated on you. Do not think I do not sympathize with you. I do, but the reality is that your spouse acts as a mirror to you. So whatever he does is a reflection of you. Think if you could have done something differently to keep the spark alive in your marriage. Sometimes we get involved in our daily lives, work, children and we actually forget to nurture our marriage. Remember our marriage is supposed to be the foundation of your home, and as such it needs to be nurtured every day.

 

3. Grieve your marriage: Whatever you decide to do with your marriage you still need to grieve what you had before. Something has changed, trust has lost, and things will probably never be the same, so going through a grieving process is totally normal. If you need to cry, do not feel bad about it, just cry.. Try to find a supportive friend that will listen to you. Having a good pair of ears can make you lots of good.

 

4. Whenever possible laugh. Laugh is the best cure against depression. You will probably feel depressed and that is totally normal, but try to laugh also. Get some movies out there and laugh or invite a friend to the movies.

 

5. Try to take some time off, without thinking, and just think about yourself. How could you improve yourself. I am not meaning that you are not good enough, but I believe in continuous personal growth. It does not mean you need to take classes, but take some time for yourself. Spoil yourself. If money is a problem just with small things, spoil yourself, invite a friend for a movie, or a coffee, if you have kids ask a friend if they would look after them, and just go and sit at a coffee shop observing people, go for a long walk, sit at a bookshop to read, sleep, anything that you would not normally do. Start enjoying yourself with little things, and life will look different then.

 

Once you are calmer, and you think you are in control, maybe you can have a conversation with your spouse, but you need to be aware that he/she might not answer all your questions/ When talking to your spouse, remain calm and try to see the situation from both perspectives.