If I were to be asked who should take greater responsibility for ensuring that the reconciliation made after an affair is sustained on a long term basis, I would say that the victim should bear the greater responsibility. AnastasiaDate.com Reviews But the guilty person also has his/her share of responsibility in the healing process. Looking at the issue from a general perspective, the onus on healing is more on the one who caused the hurt in the first place.
I am not unsympathetic to the
guilty person. I am referring to this person as guilty not as cheater, a term
that is more direct and more used because I feel that I should not be harsh to
a person who had gone astray, led by the forces of circumstances and emotional
tidings. But I feel that the person who had the affair should consider
himself/herself as having the same responsibility as the victim in handling the
after-the-affair relationship. Here are three specific suggestions for the
partner that had gone astray.
1) Accept the fact that you have
committed a wrongdoing:
The fact that your spouse has
agreed to continue the relationship even after coming to know of the affair
does not mean that you have done no wrong. But quite a few people assume such a
nonchalant attitude and ask, "It's all over. Why think about it?"
Your regret for your offense must be genuine and should remain in your mind for
sometime. Your spouse should know AnastasiaDate that their
partner has been feeling remorseful about their action. This does not mean that
you should ever live with a feeling of guilt. Remembering your act of
indiscretion with a sense of remorse will restrain you from overreacting to any
inadvertent reference by your spouse to the affair. It will also make your
spouse feel that the affair was an aberration and will not recur.
2) Avoid reacting to any comments
by a third person:
It is possible that some third
person will make some oblique or even specific reference to the affair. Get
over the tendency to spontaneously react to such remarks. Let your spouse react
to it. If your spouse is not present or fails to react, just ignore the
comments. Move away from the person that made the remark, if possible.
3) Never rub your spouse on their
mistakes/misdeeds committed either before or after an affair:
Talking about the mistakes or
wrongdoings of a spouse directly or sarcastically is not an uncommon thing in a
relationship. But any such comments by you in the post affair period may not go
well with your spouse. AnastasiaDate.com It may
appear that you are trying to earn scoring points against your spouse. Try to
be sympathetic to any of your spouse's mistakes and if this is not possible, at
least avoid saying anything that may hurt them.
Comments
Post a Comment