I sometimes hear from people who are confused about their husband's actions and behaviors after an affair. Many believe that as soon as they can finally get their husband to end the affair, then the only thing left is for their husband to show genuine remorse, to pursue his wife and his marriage, AnastasiaDate.com Reviews and for both of them to begin to pick up the pieces. But when this doesn't happen, the wife can begin to wonder why (and if perhaps there are more factors at play than him just putting an end to the affair.)
I might hear from a wife who
expresses this concern: "as soon as I found out about my husband's affair,
I demanded that he end it. He didn't agree to do this right away. He said he
needed time to think about what was the right decision for him. Eventually
though, he came home and told me that he had ended things for good. I went on
the other woman's Facebook wall and I saw that she changed her status from in a
relationship to single. So I am confident that he really did break it off. But
the problem now is that he isn't really pursuing me. And he needs to do this if
AnastasiaDate I am going
to want to save my marriage. He comes home from work and keeps to himself. He
watches TV and stays in our bedroom. We rarely talk. The other day, I saw him
looking at the classified section of the newspaper. It made me wonder if he was
looking at apartments and was considering moving out. This is not what I
expected. I was thinking that he was going to show tons of remorse and pursue
me. I am shocked that this isn't the reality of it. Why would a man not pursue
him wife when he's not longer free to purse the affair?" I will offer some
possibilities in the following article.
He May Still Not Be Sure About What
He Wants: I'm not going to debate whether or not the affair has ended. The wife
believed that it had, which is good enough for me. But it's quite possible that
the husband still wasn't sure what course of action he was going to take. Many
people end the affair because they know that it is the right thing to do. But
that doesn't mean that they are decided on what they are going to do about
their marriage or about their living situation. Many feel that they need some
time AnastasiaDate.com to let the
dust settle and then make decisions once they have a clear head.
He May Not Feel That He Deserves To
Pursue You Just Yet: Many husbands will hang back for a while even when they do
want to save their marriage. They can do this because they don't know if they
feel worthy. And they don't want to appear as if they are attempting to pick up
where they left off. They know that this wouldn't be fair to you and that it
might just be too much to expect. He may want to give you a little time to
process this and to heal before he even puts your marriage back on the table.
He May Be Waiting For You To Give
Him Some Guidance: Believe it or not, many men in this situation hesitate because
they are afraid of your rejection and your reaction. They know that you are
furious with them. They know that they have to tread lightly. So they may worry
that as soon as they reach out to you, then you might reprimand or outright
reject them. So they hesitate because they are afraid of the outcome. They may
be waiting for you to give them some clues as to how you're feeling and if you
are going to be receptive once you reach out.
So how do you handle this? Well, as
I see it, you have a couple of choices. You can wait patiently to see how he is
going to act or what he's going to do. Or, you can decide that you don't want
to wait and you can try to put this issue out there. You might try something
like: "I can't help but notice that even though the affair is over, you
haven't yet approached the topic of our marriage. Nor have you reached out to
me in any way. In fact, I suspect that you might have been looking at
apartments the other day. I'm not trying to be accusatory or to argue. I'm just
trying to see what you're thinking. I am trying to determine where we are going
from here. Do you have any idea as to what you are thinking going forward?
Obviously, we have a lot of work to do and a long road ahead of us. But it's
going to be easier if we are on the same page and I am trying to determine
where we both are."
Hopefully, he will share at least
some of what he is thinking. If not, know that it can be normal for men to not
immediately pursue their wife. They may feel unsure, undeserving, or afraid of
rejection. Or, like you, they might need some time to heal and to evaluate how
they want to move forward. But you won't know unless you ask.
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